Seeking love in times of Covid
As a podcaster on relationships and a counselor, I have heard numerous stories so far of how people have tried to find love and comfort in these times of Covid, lockdown and social distancing.
When the lockdown started, I knew one thing…’ this ain’t getting over anytime soon.’ Few of my friends raised their concerns pretty early. The horniness of loneliness was starting to cause anxiety.
I made a fun video for my friends back then about ways to deal with feeling horny in the lockdown. Practical ways to diffuse the pent up energy apart from masturbation and watching porn the usual stuff.
I happened to upload this video to Youtube and today it has crossed 5000 views. The views started picking up in the last 3 months. The comments are also coming in, and some also searched my other social media to leave positive messages for me about how honest and coolly the information was disseminated. I felt great that a random video made such an impact.
Why am I telling you this? Covid revealed certain behaviors of people and the similarity has been staggering. 2 months into the lockdown, my childhood crush who lives an underground life surfaced exactly after 2 years. Every 2 years this weirdo would get in touch from a new number to drop in my life to say hi, reminisce old memories of us school going kids playing badminton. Either meet once and then disappear for next 2 years. I had stopped taking him seriously in school itself. You eventually learn to smell ‘ fucked up’ from a distance. So he made an appearance in the lockdown, he was extra nice and he kept calling beyond those 2 days that I thought he would hang around. And I went .. Whaaaaaa
Its funny how we get used to people’s behaviour. The smart ones create a detour and keep walking ahead. The behaviour was unusually sweet. The “how great our times were, I miss you, I am not disappearing again, I am here to stay happened”…I was like why.
One thing was clear there was a serious lack of human connection being felt. I had a similar inclination towards someone in lockdown, he was unavailable mostly for one reason or other. There were others who called everyday wanting to know how my day was. Some even video called directly.. Lets call that audacity of our times.
Then came mom wanting attention by fighting over stupid things.
Then someone I recently met for work started messaging like we have been bf and gf for years…
Overall, the communication of people is all tossed up, I haven’t even mentioned the numerous international friends popping up in my life saying the same thing, either regrets or looking forward to catching up in magical ways. Everyone made their appearance for a period of time and some continue to from time to time.
This is what is called the ‘I have no idea what is happening tomorrow, let me try all my chances at everything. What if I missed on something.’
Our FOMO has leaped out of our screens and is currently raising our heartrate to grab whatever chances we may still have.
We humans think we can survive with our gadgets and internet and be cool with enjoying the likes and comments in our fake world. We are still not realizing how vital human attention and connection is for our well being. Touch and closeness are necessary for our survival.
Its amazing how in the same day I notice not just in my life but even in others’ life, there are attempts made to connect and seek attention.
Its nice, sad and yet funny for the merry go round dance of waiting for someone’s call, avoiding another’s, talking to a friend because you are comfortable with them and scrolling through our feed mindlessly to shutting our phones completely, getting engrossed in work ad sometimes almost taking sanyas from all this moh maya. The dance is getting real tiring.
Let’s hope this time shows us what & who is really important and let us stop hovering looking for instant gratification everywhere and disconnect from our digital lives and connect with ourselves and those that matter the most to us.
Let us find the one. 🙂
P.S: Writing on a day when I felt like giving up. Whatever comes to mind I shall write. Read on. Here’s hoping we write everyday.
Not calling it the dreaded ‘project’, ‘goal’.