Rihanna stressed this one out.
Be a good girl goes back to our innocent childhoods. Practically anything said and meant was indicated towards good girl meaning acceptable fit into society.
I wonder why mom still stresses be a good girl because I clearly did not fit this since the time I started to make sense of the world around me. The elders I was supposed to respect annoyed me with their hypocrisy, I was a girl yet I enjoyed all outdoor games with my brother. No dolls ever fascinated me. I would comb their hair till that plastic head popped off and I would throw it away. And what is with all the toys being hurtful as fuck when you step on them.
So yes, for a long time my mom kept the rant of being a good girl. I just refused to understand what it meant. Till I realized that most of these good girls were excellent liars. And lying was beneath all values. I was going to speak the truth and that will be the right kind of good girl.
No one likes the truth.
Girl speaking truth. Haww!
It took me a long time to realize that I am the bad girl. I can’t be a good girl. No one knows what a good girl is. Its just thrown around till you can be controlled into somebody everyone else feels comfortable with.
The first question obviously was who is a bad girl
- The one who has an opinion
- the one who is happy
- the one who chooses happiness
- who isn’t afraid to call out when someone is wrong
- who laughs loudly
- who dances
- who is curious about sex
- who isn’t afraid to talk to boys
Consider all the antagonistic roles played by women.
Quintessentially if it was rewarding to be a good girl, the good girl did not see any benefit. Bad girls seem to have fun.
Bad girls were wanted. Good girls ended up getting married and then ignored.
The whole equation does not fit right? Because it was meant to serve the purpose of making only the girl feel bad. And mostly confused.
But we all love the bad girls. We love to talk about them, hate them. They make for interesting stories and characters in movies. They add the zing to things.
Oh well as much as I enjoyed being wanting to achieve the good girl status it was the bad girl who appealed the most to me. She made me laugh, wonder and made me want to have that fun. She made me alive.
She is the one who saved me.
While being the good girl by textbook kills you from inside and makes you feel lost, the bad girl sets you free. You feel guilty. But why does it feel so good? That freedom, that breath of air without worry, the unbounded happiness and the gay abandon – why does it feel so natural and close to heart?
Liberate yourself woman, the world does not give you everything. You do not get rewarded for putting others before you, for sacrificing your own joy and needs. Yes it will hate seeing you happy with your self and that pretty much goes for anyone regardless of gender. They will judge you, make you feel left out and hate you for choosing you. You choosing you will be the revolution. A revolution that will not just liberate you but inspire many women to liberate themselves.
If you want to survive the madness of this human confusion in terms of judgment, I advise….
Do not be a good girl.
We need the real you ..
to save this world.