You can’t lockdown the human experience

You can’t stop the wave, you can’t escape the need..

You may have everything and yet one touch disintegrates but makes you whole all at once.

This lockdown got the best and worst of human experience,

Personally, some long lost souls reconnected…

Some had a different tone to how they were talking,

Like when you realise something way after time has passed and suddenly want to value.

Some apologised for decades old behaviour,

Some appreciated my journey

Some miss something I was or did for them

Some downright stalked me

Some wanted to settle down

Some wanted to have an affair

And a few people narrated a life lived together all in a matter of 20 minutes,

After one of these conversations, I was riding my bike as usual but I met with a freak accident.

The metro work was the official cause,

But the literal cause of that accident was a half n hour conversation with someone who was desperately trying to not be lonely by proposing me to a life he had planned out for both of us.

These are the moments where I feel it’s important to listen..

Because the emotions are bare out in the open,

The insecurities are seeping through,

Oh the vital need for human connection..

And yet one can never just try to make it happen

Distinct casual daters whom I knew now posted stories of wanting a deep connection for life..

Dating app fatigue took over people and they asked where do I find the right one.. This thing does not work Sne..

Self obsessed freaks said they want kids.. (Matlab kuch bhi)

The divide between what one really wants and what one thinks one wants is widening

What all we do because we don’t want to be lonely

I am no saint.

The kind of feelings I developed in lockdown,

I couldn’t identify myself with.

I did struggle to find meaning and something to look forward to

But like sand it just kept slipping through my fingers as I tried to hold onto it

The only mantra this year enforced without choice upon us is LET GO!

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