The naivete of wanting love

The deepest desire is to be loved.

2020 started the deep journey into our own darkness, uncertainty and peeling layers and layers of bullshit. And it is just not stopping. I dived into all kinds of reasonings and explanations for the back to back disappointments in terms of anything and everything that just ceased to workout like Mercury Retrograde and Eclipses and Full moons. The hell it makes sense.

It is like all the closets have got laid bare open and each day we are all swimming together in this madness with our skeletons from the closet free wheeling around us.

The palpable needs that makes us human like attention, love, empathy, caring and human connections to make us feel safe rose to the surface and are floating about. But as we all are in this deep sea swimming together, none of us mortals are ready to trust and hold each other.

The irony is killing us. The lack of love is making our mental health go for a toss as we hold on strongly to our work, the money and instagram thinking it will keep us safe. Yet we install and uninstall dating apps in a hope to find the soothing hug that is actually going to keep us alive. As we all grapple with our broken hearts and broken trust, the need to connect being ever so high yet the pain of separation and uncertainty grooming our anxieties to get drawn more into a shell. The tug of war between what we want and yet what we do not want is a messed up match because we are no longer sure of who is fighting against whom. We are just getting pulled and dragged and seething in pain and nothing gives relief.

The many people who are swearing to be single say so with the retired look in their eyes and not one of happiness, yet those who have found someone somewhere have a look that says, I don’t really know if this is what I want.

I do not think there ever has been more confusion and doubting of our own needs and wants becoming like something caught in a spider’s web. We no longer know who we are and what the hell we are doing.

You want what you want but that is not the way you want it. Every morning as I wake up and get a vibe of the world around me, it seems the universe is also tangled up in people’s fast changing demands.

Its like we are habituated to scrolling through our Instagram without even looking at what we are scrolling. We just cannot stop. We are in an autopilot mode but we no longer care where we are headed.

We swipe right and we swipe right and the swiping is so satisfying we don’t know if we will stop because who is looking for anyone any which ways.

A chuckle flows out of my friend while we talk about these things. What is the answer, Sne?

Well, we all need to go in silence. A silence from the external stimuli so we can start listening to our inner wisdom. The one that already knows what we need, what will fulfil us, what makes us us.

Tune in.

The external is just a reflection of the inner workings. And currently you are in chaos and max need of repair and detox.

Sign out.

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