Cleaning out my closet

Eminem sang a song very different to the usual pop culture back then. And to a young mind like mine it left an indelible mark. I didn’t understand the entire song and lyrics back then but the feel of his singing hit me in my core.

I am really, truly grateful to Marshall Mathers for voicing his feelings towards his narcissistic mom. I am pretty sure he had no idea that is what she was. Narcissism in the modern world should be our interest. We are so focused on denying climate change, hungry people in the world, refugee problem and now vaccines and a virus. The greatest disease that has affected people across and who continue to rule us and make decisions for most of people are the narcists. We have an epidemic at hand that we do not even realize of what nature and how it affects everything.

I don’t know if Eminem could see it but apart from the pills his mom was a narcissist. Despite of not having access to song lyrics as easily as today the words of the song and Eminem falling to his knees crying deeply resonated with something far inside of me. That last scene of him, a grown up remembering a scene from his childhood where he gave a card to his mom which she threw away always hit me with a jolt. That scene is so profoundly heartbreaking.

A mother that hates a child is the very foundation for everything thereon to go wrong in this world. God knows how many wicked sociopaths and psychopaths went through with regards to their childhood and their parents.. we may never know.

You get divided into two types of people – ones who fight for their innocence across their life taking pain and suffering along with them and refusing to give it to others; the so called empaths or highly sensitive people or those who keep inflicting pain around because they don’t know how to deal with it on their inside.

Both extremes go through pain they cannot escape. No education or culture prepares you for this sinking pit inside. We just escape it whenever it comes. Any escape then defines it – drinking, sex, back to back relationships that do not last, drugs, crime, binge eating food, bingeing shows. Look at the number of songs that talk about numbing the pain.

What this song; Cleaning out your closet did however was take that bold step to address the source of the pain. To address where it went wrong. And culturally across the world this is not something that is encouraged.

But the thing today is that we have been pushing so many things under the carpet, the carpet is filled up and we are being consumed by everything we pushed under it.

We need to talk to each other, have a safe space to be vulnerable. Our vulnerability is what will save us our kind. We need to be human and stop the madness to show something to fit. Because that structure never stayed and it is crashing hard.

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